


all my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew (goddamn it, I was worth something)

by merakiishere



Series: danganronpa [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Background DICE (Dangan Ronpa), Background Momota Kaito, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Good Friend Momota Kaito, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Oma Kokichi-centric, One-Sided Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Ouma not Oma, Out of Character Oma Kokichi, POV Oma Kokichi, Sad Oma Kokichi, Spoilers for chapter 5, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27865945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merakiishere/pseuds/merakiishere
Summary: kokichi's final reflection before death
Relationships: Momota Kaito & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: danganronpa [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040105
Kudos: 43





	all my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew (goddamn it, I was worth something)

the cold, hard, stainless steel that his body covered reminded him of the old buildings that he and DICE populated occasionally. when they felt their base was too cramped, he would lead them into rumpled, broken streets and they would play in destroyed buildings and interact with ancient landmarks. if they were lucky, they would find a cat or two- ace and clubs really liked them. one time, after the raid and elaborate prank of the corrupt jachijirou police officers (read: buckets of black and white paint being dumped on them, and a lot of egging.), while they were running away from the lagging officers, they picked up a small tuxedo cat. after draping the pretty cat in the finest of checkered scarves, they adorned her with a name- queen of spades, que for short. those days were filled with lighthearted banter and warm sunbeams that complimented DICE’s energy admirably. but these days are full of cold, hardened stares and depressing, yet angered atmospheres. the differences were uncanny and unfamiliar, but he had masks to spare. 

ouma laughed bitterly. what a terrible way to die. cold, bloody, feeling as if his stomach was tearing and his organs were stretching. he expected to die of hunger or blood loss outside, but he’d have DICE, his family. 

here, he didn’t even have a friend.

he was going to die. alone and hated by everyone, even the nicest people. he was unlikeable, and ouma was glad about it. his death was going to help people. it will end all of the death, all of the hanging, all of the burning at the stakes, and oh god he was so sorry for all of that-

ouma’s body racked with erratic breaths and dreadful agony shot through his body in uneven ripples. his regalia-color eyes snuck a quick look towards the sturdy metal door near him, one of the only light sources. a tall shadow was pacing through the small crack in the slightly-open door. ouma resisted the urge to sigh out of relief- as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he wasn’t ready to die. 

after giving him his jacket (which, he would never admit was very warm and comforting.), momota had gone out of the room temporarily in an effort to try and collect his thoughts. ouma knew that momota’s crippling savior complex wouldn’t allow him to back off the deal they made, so he tried to make his last words to him as kind as possible. momota deserves it, of course. he dealt with ouma’s bullshit and still agreed to help him with his plan. he is too good of a guy. it almost made ouma sick to his stomach. 

loud footsteps echoed through the darkroom like a message. the light dimmed until it wasn’t there anymore. the luminary of the stars replaced the comforting light. but it was going to be okay, ouma wouldn’t need comfort where he was going.

///////

“hey, ouma?” momota’s usually loud voice, now filled with softness and a hint of melancholy called out to him. he wasn’t going to shame himself for immediately thinking of someone he disappointed. 

“you’re alone and you always will be.” a vision of a navy haired detective filled his head.

god, that hurt. but he wasn’t talking to him. he didn’t have to see his upset, angry face. he was talking to momota. he was going to make it count.

“heyyyyy, momo-chan~” really? he was about to die and he still wasn’t going to act like his true self? how disgusting. but it seemed to satisfy momota. 

well, sort of. momota still huffed out an angry puff of air. but there was a nice hint of amusement. ouma decides that he likes it. it makes him happy. “are you ready, man? do you want to tell me some last words or something?” 

...were there any useful words he could offer the world? he already had a mini breakdown earlier. he wasn’t even sure if momota believed those, why would he believe his dying ones? but he was certain about one thing. his beloved detective would try his very hardest to solve ouma’s case, even if he didn’t know it was his. the sheer determination and hope radiating off of him were like a breath of fresh air. perhaps his last words could be to him? 

“momo-chan?” momota tilted his head a bit, signaling that he was listening. “do you think.. you could tell shumai..” that he was sorry? that he wished him well? that he promised that he has positive intentions? that he wasn’t just a liar? that he was the only person he deemed trustworthy? that- “ah, never mind momo-chan! i was going to say to tell him that his emo hat sucked and that i was glad it was gone, but im sure you wouldn’t let your little sidekick hear that~” 

momota did that stupid knuckles against each other pose. “damn right! that’s the only truth you’ve told all day!” so he didn’t believe his words. its okay. it was nice to just have a listening ear. ouma sighed lightly, before throwing a weak shooing motion towards the wannabe astronaut. 

“ni-shi-shi~, you shouldn’t be wasting my time as you always do! we should start the plan alreadyyyyy! or do you want your precious maki-roll to be executed?” low blow, ouma knew. but it was the only way to keep the plan going. he watched as momota scowled upset, but he was smart enough to know that ouma had a sense of truth in his words. ouma watched as the other male trailed towards the booth that held the control panel. should he- probably. its only nice.

“..kaito?” just as he reached the outside of the panel, kaito froze at his given name. but he made it known that he was listening. kaito was good at that, ouma decided. “thank you.” ouma let a small grin fall on his face as he closed his eyes. A bright spectrum of rainbow and blue hues reached his irises. he heard the comforting sounds of the footsteps of the other, but not before hearing a small affirmation. 

“no problem, kokichi.”

a bright red filled kokichi’s vision. he cracked a small peek, observing his right, only to see a glowing button. kokichi offered the dark glass a small thumbs-up, as he heard a loud clicking noise. 

the top of the hydraulic press lowered slowly and kokichi could feel his heartbeat quicken uncomfortably. it was seconds before his death, but even knowing that he would become a bloody mess, he managed a smile. his last, genuine smile.

“at least i wasn’t boring, right?”

**Author's Note:**

> angst go brrrr
> 
> it would be nice if you commented so I could see what yall think 🥺🌸
> 
> i don't write much but I hope this was good :)
> 
> I love kokichi, he is incredibly interesting. so ig this is a character study?? 
> 
> im admittedly not a fan of kaito, but just because him and kokichi are considered enemies, doesn't mean I hate him. i know he's a good character whos actions are just as justified and kokichis. he deserves as much good as the other characters.
> 
> (song- feel better by penelope scott )


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